The important thing is always to learn. It doesn't matter what you're reading, what you're doing, as long as you're learning. Life is made up of stories, so always make sure to take stock of everything around you, and anything interesting that happens. It may someday make for a good story. But if it doesn't, it was still a learning experience. So go out, learn, live, and make a story worth telling.
He told me that he wasn’t interested in me in that way. I can accept that. I mean, I have no choice really. If he doesn’t want to date me, I can’t really change his mind. I’m not sure I’d want to date him if I could. He has a strong mind, like me. I’m pretty sure that’s one of the reasons I was drawn to him. But seriously, I can get over this and move on. I did with Baltes, and with the first Aaron, and with Derick (at least Ben isn’t a dick like Derick was, calling me up and bragging all about his awesome new Irish girlfriend), and countless others. I’ve been rejected a lot. I should be used to it by now.
I was thinking earlier, about how long I’d had the crush on Ben. I thought it was only for a few months, but then I remembered New Years. I definitely had it then. So yeah, quite a few months, right? But I can get over it.
I cried my eyes out last night when he turned me down. I haven’t cried like that in ages. I’m pretty sure I broke a few blood vessels, because my eyes were really red. At least the puffiness and redness have mostly gone away by now. That’s good. I’d hate to have to go into work with messed up eyes like that.
But yeah, I’m trying my hardest to feel better. Talking to Karyn really helped. I’m not angry, I’m not depressed, I’m kinda even-tempered about it right now. Hopefully, things will get better sooner or later. Until then, I just have to concentrate on surviving.
