The important thing is always to learn. It doesn't matter what you're reading, what you're doing, as long as you're learning. Life is made up of stories, so always make sure to take stock of everything around you, and anything interesting that happens. It may someday make for a good story. But if it doesn't, it was still a learning experience. So go out, learn, live, and make a story worth telling.
Cried myself to sleep last night. Haven’t done that in awhile. Just to give you an idea of how I feel lately.
I just wish something, anything would go right for once. I’m about to be homeless, which is going to force me to move in with my parents because all my friends ditched out on me the second things started to get rough, so I have nobody I can stay with. The “emergency housing” thing my social worker had me try for on Wednesday measures the waiting list in years, which does not a godsdamned thing for my homelessness. And don’t even get me started on my love life. That thing has been misery-in-the-making since it started. The latest is that I can’t get a date, no matter what I do. I’d ask the guy out, were it not for the fact that every time I asked the other person out, it was because they were way too weak to handle me, to deal with me. Is it really so bad that I just want an equal for once? Someone who doesn’t need to be taken care of. But yeah, that’s not my only problem, relationship-wise. As I said, all my friends decided I didn’t exist, save four (Aaron, Tyra, Max, and Lee). Nobody else gives a shit. They probably never did. Or if they do give a shit, it’s not enough of a shit to pick up the fucking phone and call me!
I’m never going to get onto social security, I’m never going to get back into Wright State, I’m never going to have a job that doesn’t make me want to kill myself, I will never be in a good place, ever, for the rest of my fucking life. I’d kill myself, save that fear of failing and getting stuck in that worthless hospital again. Fuck.
