The important thing is always to learn. It doesn't matter what you're reading, what you're doing, as long as you're learning. Life is made up of stories, so always make sure to take stock of everything around you, and anything interesting that happens. It may someday make for a good story. But if it doesn't, it was still a learning experience. So go out, learn, live, and make a story worth telling.
I’m done trying to justify everything. People will believe whatever they want to, no matter how far from the truth it is, no matter how absurd it sounds. I’m done letting others think they’re allowed to dictate my life. The second you share anything about yourself online, that’s the second people think they know more about you than you know about yourself. They try to force their ideals down your throat, tell you that you should do everything their way, because they’re in control of you your life. And I’m done with it all.
I’m losing all internet connection on Saturday, and maybe that’s a good thing. I’m getting sick of the fact that most people online are idiots and ass holes that think they’re entitled to do whatever the hell it is they’re doing. 4-chan isn’t a website any more, it’s how almost everybody acts online. And I’m pretty certain I don’t want to be associated with any of it. Maybe this break from all things online will help me feel better, or maybe it’ll help me decide to delete this website and to stop using my LiveJournal. Either way, I think it’s what I needed to help me come to a decision.
I’m also thinking it’s a good thing that all the people who called themselves my friends offline deserted me long before the move. If I have no one to miss, I won’t feel as bad. And desert me they did. So maybe this is a blessing in disguise. At least, I can hope for that.
Throughout this whole ordeal, I’ve also learned to stop telling the truth online. If you tell people how you feel, they don’t put the effort into trying to help you, or talk to you about it, or give you support. But they DO call the cops on you, apparently. Because that requires no real effort, or actually caring. Thinking before acting is something that no one does online. Ever.
I need a vacation, from people, from the internet, from everybody telling me I’m not good enough and acting like it’s “help”. Because that’s what “you’re not trying hard enough” means when you are trying your hardest. Or it means “faking.” Either way, it’s an insult. But online, since people don’t have to look at your face when they tell you how horrible of a person you are, it’s standard practice.
So on Saturday, I’m moving back to Lakeview. If my “friends” want to contact me, they know my number. I don’t expect any calls, though. I’m losing all internet access whatsoever. Not that it ever helped before. At least this way, I won’t have as many people insulting me. Only myself.
I’m going to stop using this website now. This is my last entry until I decide if the scum is worth what little good that comes from all this. I still have a few months paid for, so I have my time to think. I’m pretty sure I already know my decision, though.
Goodbye, to those few that actually do care. And to those that don’t, you can stop pretending now.
